Falling
by Jade4813
Summary: The next in my songfics series. Lois starts to wonder if she should do something about her feelings for Clark. Clois.


**A/N:** I own none of these characters, and I make no profit.

This is the third in the Songfics series I (unintentionally) started. For contextual reasons, it would probably be best if you've read the first two (_The Man in Love with Lois Lane_ and _If Only_) before tackling this one.

**Falling**

"I just don't want to lose him, Chlo," Lois said starkly, looking at her cousin with desperate eyes.

Chloe sighed, and her voice was sad as she replied, "You've never had him, Lois."

_I've been crushed like paper  
I've been washed like rain  
I've been scared of sleeping  
In case I wake up the same  
I've been broken and battered  
I've been lost in my home  
I've been crying a river  
I've been cold as a stone_

It had been a week, and Lois still couldn't get her cousin's words out of her head. She didn't know what was worse: the pity Chloe's voice had betrayed, or the self-realization that it was well deserved.

When had everything gotten so out of hand? Not long ago, she would have scoffed at the suggestion that she didn't have Clark. Oh, certainly, he wasn't _hers_, not in the sense that Chloe had meant. But she did have a part of him, and, she fiercely reminded herself once again, that should be enough.

As his partner, she had his days; the knowledge that she would find him waiting for her at the Planet was sometimes the only thing that got out of bed in the morning. During the long hours they worked side-by-side, she could pretend that there was something more between them, and she jealously hoarded every smile he threw her way and every brush of his hand against her own. If ensuring that she would never have to go without these little moments meant she had to relinquish any claim over his nights, well, that was simply a price she was willing to pay. It was better to accept less than she desired, she'd repeatedly assured herself, than to take a chance at having more and risk losing everything.

This rationalization grew harder to accept every day.

_But falling into you  
It carries me far enough away  
And everything you do  
It lightens up my darker side of day  
I just hope that the wind  
Doesn't blow you away_

She'd have an easier time of resigning herself to not having all of Clark if he would just strive to be a little less…amazing. He was unlike anyone she'd ever known, and she'd discovered (to her increasing horror) that her usual defenses didn't stand a chance against him. There were even times, when she was with him, that she would almost forget that her heart had been broken too many times to risk giving it away once more. He made it seem so effortless; every time he smiled at her, every time he said her name, every time he looked at her in that particular way he had, she found it harder to listen to the voice inside that whispered that she wasn't destined for a love that would last forever.

_I've been left unattended  
I've been thrown like a ball  
I've been rolled with the punches  
I didn't feel a thing at all  
I've been crossed by the wires  
I've been blinded by the light  
I've been burned by the fire  
I've been kept out of sight_

With a groan, Lois pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes, as if trying to block out her thoughts, but, for once, she couldn't seem to do so. She was tired of trying to deny everything Clark made her feel, tired of pretending she was content to simply be his friend. His days were no longer enough; she wanted his nights as well, and she was tired of trying to convince herself otherwise. So she had a choice to make: Would she continue to play it safe and give up any chance she might ever have at a love that could last forever? Or would she do the cowardly thing and continue to run?

Maybe Chloe was right; maybe she giving up too easily. Lois never backed down from a battle worth waging, even when it seemed one she would probably lose. Could she really live with herself if she gave in to such petty fear now – particularly since the stakes were so high?

"You've never had him, Lois." The words, echoing in her mind, made her wince.

_But falling into you  
It carries me far enough away  
And everything you do  
It lightens up my darker side of day  
I just hope that the wind  
Doesn't blow you away_

With a deep breath, Lois rested her hand on the door and, after only a moment's hesitation, walked back into the newsroom. Her heart hammering in her chest, she squared her shoulders as she strode with deceptive confidence towards the man seated at the desk across from hers.

However, her composure fled suddenly the moment she reached his side, and the urge to run away was almost overpowering. But then, just when she was about to put thought to deed, he turned and looked up at her. And then he graced her that smile that always took her breath away, the one that promised her that she wasn't destined to be alone.

"Hey, Smallville…?" she began, offering him a tentative smile. "Walk me home?"

_I just hope that the wind  
Doesn't blow you away_


End file.
